The Rat Bite

 In 1971 we got in a soldier and he had a very large, blackened ear. He had been bitten by a rat. According to my tape home at he time I was in the ER with him. They were applying ice bags to his stomach getting ready to give him a Rabies Vaccine Shot. In this tape I talk about how painful they are and that he will need several shots over 14 days.

My New Buddy

I recently had some old tapes repaired that I sent home from Vietnam  and converted to CD. I was listened to one and this was an event I spoke of that happened around July, 1971:

"Two MP's brought in a barefooted guy. His friends stated he had amnesia but decided he was on drugs. The MP's were having a hard time handling him. I stated that I was able to speak with him and calm him down a little. He then got agitated again and the MP's we trying to deal with him and the ER staff was trying to give him a shot to sedate/calm him down. He started to state he wanted his buddy (me) to give him the shot which I could not do. He kept saying he wanted his buddy to give him the shot. In the end I held his arm as they gave him the shot. In this tape I stated that I was getting really good working with GI's, GI's crying, etc. and calming them down and helping them."

I have always remembered helping GI's like this and now, after listening to this recording, realize that my memories are correct which means a lot to me in many ways.

A Dog Named Christmas

Not too long ago I turned on the TV and there was a Christmas Movie. I started to watch it. I believe it was called "A Dog Named Christmas.".It was about a stray dog and a family that took him in temporarily. I was watching it and all of the sudden the father in the movie had a flashback to his time in Vietnam. He had found a dog that was hiding and thought it was the NVA. He fed it and it become their companion. Along with this flashback was incoming and he was badly wounded in the leg and was being airlifted out. He was yelling about the dog and where was his dog.  

When I began watching this show on TV it appeared to be just a show about a lost dog. I never imagined that it would include a significant part about a wounded Vietnam Veteran and his not wanting to get close to another dog, his injuries sustained in the attack, etc. There is no way I can explain the emotions and memories I had at that moment.

I don't think there is ever a day that goes by that there isn't a smell, word, event, news item, etc. that brings those memories flooding back to me. There are times I wish I would forget about it all but, forgetting, means I forget about all those I served with and those who crossed my path. Something I do not want to ever forget.

Quilts of Valor

A few months ago I was asked about putting my name in for a "Quilt of Valor". I had seen these quilts and must say I really would like to have one. But I thought of those who I felt more deserving. However, I did say OK as I felt it was not going to happen and I would not be approved. A month ago I was called and asked to information on my service history and given two dates to pick from for quilt presentation. I was shocked I was approved and worried how other veterans would feel with me standing by them. I gave minimal service information with quite a bit on my Vietnam Service. As usual I felt less worthy than those out in the jungle, those wounded and those who died. 

I told a family member and my wife knew about the quilt but there didn't seem to be any interest in it or my getting it. Feeling alone is something I have felt has a Nam vet and lack of support was nothing new. I went to the event and was shocked by the number of veterans and a few active military who were getting a quilt. After the Colors were presented, we were called up individually and stood as the speaker told of our military history that had been provided. Some had much detail and some very little. When my time came I went to the front, nervous and somewhat scared. The event speaker told those attending of my service in Vietnam and what I did during my tour. She referred to my letters and how horrifying they were and then she seemed to be holding back tears.. She finished by stating the few facts on military citations and then finished. I was then presented with my quilt that was wrapped around me.

After the presentations, we all stood for pictures as a group with our quilts wrapped around us. Then, the "Daughters of the American Revolution" had all the Vietnam Veterans come up. They spoke of how we were never welcomed home and that it had been officially 50 years since the war. They then pinned the 50 year Vietnam pin of us that states thank you for your service on the back and gave us each a certificate.

Families came up and hugged their relative, friend, etc. and some grand kids held signs that stated "We love you grandpa.". At that time I had a lady come up really crying and hardly able to speak. She hugged me and said thank you. Her husband had been wounded in Vietnam and she said he returned because of people like me and that perhaps he was even at our hospital. The spokesperson came over and hugged me and was crying and stated her thanks and we chatted a little. A nurse came over and actually kissed me on the cheek. She said I am a nurse and have worked in an ER. I know what you went through and "We stand with you.". There were some other conversations that went on and then it was over.

I had actually seen the Nut Dr. a few days before at the VA. I told him of this event and the lack of support of my family which he is aware of. He stated that the day was for me and not anyone else and that I deserved to be recognized, especially with what I encountered in Vietnam. I felt that way as well but was putting my concern for family first as how would they feel if not invited, left out, etc. But he was right, that was my time.

I was overwhelmed by the event and those who came over to speak to me and grateful. It is something that I will never forget.

President Trump - Vietnam

I remember watching TV and seeing Donald Trump at one of his events and a Vietnam Veteran coming up and giving him his Purple Heart. His response was "I have always wanted one of these.". Well he has one, but it really isn't his. He could have had the opportunity to earn one of his own but instead had a number of deferments, including some medical deferments.  It is a sad time in our Country and History that a candidate / basic draft dodger (now President) would make a comment like that and take the Purple Heart. What should he have done? He should have opened up the Medal and pinned it on the Veteran and said "Thank you, but I'm giving this back to you. You earned it and deserve it. I want to thank you for your bravery and service to our Country.".

I know others will disagree but it could have been such a powerful moment, especially for the Veteran and those who served in Vietnam. A wonderful way to show his respect.

School Guest Speaker - Vietnam

I have had the opportunity to speak to a local high school classe approximately 5 times in the last two years. It really is just a conversation regarding my time and experience in Vietnam. I usually start out with growing up and what life was like. I then cover getting drafted and time in the U S Army including my service in Vietnam. I them cover my life after my Service and Vietnam and how I got to where I am today. I have found the High School Students to be a great group to speak to. I have always thought it was their time to ask questions and get an answer to that question. I have always wanted to be as honest as possible and for them to ask whatever they want knowing it would be taken seriously. They even have the option to speak to me after class, call me or E-mail questions to me.

One of the things I decided early on is that I wanted to be as hones as possible on whatever it is they want to know or ask. That is really opening myself up to any type of question. What I have done is to tell them honestly of my life growing up, a sexual abuse incident, an alcoholic father, a poor family, growing up where supporting the family was important, more important than education. That enables me to hit items that perhaps may be happening to them or part of their lives as well as the possibility that they have no resources to assist them. It also gives them a picture into who many drafter men were during Vietnam which was uneducated, from poor families, minorities, etc.

I was afraid hat being so honest is a risk, a possible embarrassment, and extremely emotional to open oneself up to young people who are also strangers. etc. What I have found is that it has been rewarding to me and has helped me a great deal. I have also found that the students seem to appreciate the openness and honesty and feel empowered to be a part of the dialog, questions, etc. and that they are important.

These students give me hope for our future.

Veterans Day 2016

Tomorrow is Veterans Day. It is hard for me to believe it has been 46 years since I entered and served in the U S Army for three years. It will also be 46 years since I was sent to Vietnam. To me, Veterans day is not just one day a year when we think of our Veterans, those who served and those who paid the ultimate sacrifice. I don't believe a day has went by in the last 46 years that I have not thought of those I served with and those who crossed my path while in the service. I especially remember the GI's in Vietnam that I took off the choppers and wheeled into the ER, getting their information, helping in the ER as best I could by cutting off fatigues and helping the Doc's, nurses and Corpsmen. I especially remember those who died and taking final care of them.. Those were the hardest and I can still see them. I wonder about what type of person they were or would be if there had been no war or if they had lived. I wonder about their families, their loss and how they fared. I wish they knew that there were those that I and others were with when they died and they did not die alone. There are so many things that just keep coming into my head and many times just overwhelm me.

As Veterans Day comes again I am so thankful that I had so many GI's who crossed my path and how they supported me and each other. I remember those who were wounded or died with great sorrow and prayers. And I think of their families and the sorrow and loss they experienced. So on this day and every one during the year my thoughts and prayers are with those who served and are serving their Country.