Veterans Day 2010 - Part 2

I wanted to go back to Veterans Day as a follow-up. I did as I had planned that day and went to Mass around 8:15 a.m. I became very rattled at first and there were a larger number of people (possibly 50 or so) more than I expected. And then, since the Parish has a grade school, the school children were being led in by their teachers. I was almost panicked, forcing tears not to flow especially when I saw a statue of a soldier saluting on the Alter.

After the children were seated I went in and sat in a fairly empty pew with a couple people in the pew behind and in front of me. When the Priest was walking in the Children sang a song about America. Mass then started and the Priest came down to where the children were and asked them about soldiers and what they do, how they protect us, etc. He also named all the Branches of Service. Soon Mass continued and at Communion he asked all active duty and veterans to stand. The children all turned to look at us. I was such a mess and could not control the tears no matter how I tried. They then asked us to go get Communion first. Then before Mass ended we again had to stand up. Young children then brought us a small American Flag and then a first grader brought each of us a hand made card for Veterans Day and my tears got worse and I was almost sobbing. To make it worse I brought no tissue or handkerchief. At that time, with the Children still looking at us, they all applauded.

It has been 40 years since I first went into the service and this was the only time I had ever received a Veterans Day card or recognition. I was, and still am, overwhelmed. The following day when I went to work I told a Vietnam Veteran who I know only a little about the day and told him that if I would die now my life would feel complete.

Tears come to my eyes as I enter this post and words cannot express how moved I was and continue to be by this experience. I will never forget that day.

Thanksgiving 2010

Thanksgiving is now over and I'm really glad. It, as many things, brought back many memories. Of landing back in the world from Vietnam on Thanksgiving night, 1971. When trying to make flight arrangemnts homes at Travis (I believe) I hear a voice calling for Mahoney. It was a fellow soldier I was stationed with in either Basic or Advanced Training. He wanted to say hi. He also needed $20 dollars or so to fly home which I gave him. He said he'd send it to me but I knew I would probably not hear or see from him again. Nor did it matter regarding the $20. (One of the few times I seemed to actually have money on me.)

I remember sharing the cab with him and a couple other GIs and getting to San Francisco International and pacing the night away until my flight left the next morning. The following night in Omaha I came to realize it was all a mistake and I should have never left Vietnam. I was lonely, angry, made fun of and treated poorly for being a Vietnam Veteran. I was so overwhelmed over the next few days, teeth hurt from flying and the fillings, jet lag and everything had changed over the last year. My slang was a year old and brought many laughs, only adding to my hating to be back in the States. Nothing prepared me for what I was experiencing or going to experience.

My thoughts are my own exept for writing a few of them here and thinking about Vietnam and just how important my service was and is. It is burned into my being for all time. And my dreams have been full of being in the service and back in Vietnam these last few days. I pray for my fellow veterans and wonder and hope that when my times comes I will be reunited with them. As always, you are in my thoughts.

Veterans Day

Veterans Day is in two days. Some will work and others have a paid day off. Regardless, many will remember what the day is for and honor our Veterans in some way. Veterans Day is like every day for me as I remember and pray for Veterans daily.

For me the real difference is that as it gets closer to Veterans Day my memory is flooded more than ever with vivid memories and much more sadness for those who died. I find myself crying more and doing my best to conceal my feelings or thoughts from anyone around me - something I have done for 40 years. It is also a time I feel even more guilt that I lived and wanting to be with those who died. I wonder how God chose those who died and I get angry at Him. How could He have let that happen. But I also have faith and believe in God and and Heaven and know that these young men and women are there.

All I can say right now is that I remember being with you and praying for you and that I am sorry. My heart is filled with overwhelming sadness my brothers and I pray for you and your families even more on this Veterans Day.