Thanksgiving is now over and I'm really glad. It, as many things, brought back many memories. Of landing back in the world from Vietnam on Thanksgiving night, 1971. When trying to make flight arrangemnts homes at Travis (I believe) I hear a voice calling for Mahoney. It was a fellow soldier I was stationed with in either Basic or Advanced Training. He wanted to say hi. He also needed $20 dollars or so to fly home which I gave him. He said he'd send it to me but I knew I would probably not hear or see from him again. Nor did it matter regarding the $20. (One of the few times I seemed to actually have money on me.)
I remember sharing the cab with him and a couple other GIs and getting to San Francisco International and pacing the night away until my flight left the next morning. The following night in Omaha I came to realize it was all a mistake and I should have never left Vietnam. I was lonely, angry, made fun of and treated poorly for being a Vietnam Veteran. I was so overwhelmed over the next few days, teeth hurt from flying and the fillings, jet lag and everything had changed over the last year. My slang was a year old and brought many laughs, only adding to my hating to be back in the States. Nothing prepared me for what I was experiencing or going to experience.
My thoughts are my own exept for writing a few of them here and thinking about Vietnam and just how important my service was and is. It is burned into my being for all time. And my dreams have been full of being in the service and back in Vietnam these last few days. I pray for my fellow veterans and wonder and hope that when my times comes I will be reunited with them. As always, you are in my thoughts.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Veterans Day
Veterans Day is in two days. Some will work and others have a paid day off. Regardless, many will remember what the day is for and honor our Veterans in some way. Veterans Day is like every day for me as I remember and pray for Veterans daily.
For me the real difference is that as it gets closer to Veterans Day my memory is flooded more than ever with vivid memories and much more sadness for those who died. I find myself crying more and doing my best to conceal my feelings or thoughts from anyone around me - something I have done for 40 years. It is also a time I feel even more guilt that I lived and wanting to be with those who died. I wonder how God chose those who died and I get angry at Him. How could He have let that happen. But I also have faith and believe in God and and Heaven and know that these young men and women are there.
All I can say right now is that I remember being with you and praying for you and that I am sorry. My heart is filled with overwhelming sadness my brothers and I pray for you and your families even more on this Veterans Day.
For me the real difference is that as it gets closer to Veterans Day my memory is flooded more than ever with vivid memories and much more sadness for those who died. I find myself crying more and doing my best to conceal my feelings or thoughts from anyone around me - something I have done for 40 years. It is also a time I feel even more guilt that I lived and wanting to be with those who died. I wonder how God chose those who died and I get angry at Him. How could He have let that happen. But I also have faith and believe in God and and Heaven and know that these young men and women are there.
All I can say right now is that I remember being with you and praying for you and that I am sorry. My heart is filled with overwhelming sadness my brothers and I pray for you and your families even more on this Veterans Day.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Armored Personnel Carrier (APC)
It's been a really bad week and I have been feeling so sad and just flooded with memories. Maybe because Veterans day is fast approaching and I know most veterans are greatly affected by that day. Anyway, Thursday was one of those days when out of the blue I got hit with a flashback of an incident driving into work where an APC flipped over and that flashback / memory was extremely vivid. I don't know what triggered it and tears welled up in my eyes and the memory just kept getting more and more vivid.
Not too long after showing up for my nightly duty the call came in regarding wounded from an APC that flipped. If I remember correctly, it was an explosion that flipped it. It got really crazy fast. I don't remember much about the wounded coming in an several choppers except for two soldiers. I remember that there was some communication about one of them either having died or on the brink of dying. I decided to bring him into the ER from the chopper since we didn't really know. As we got to the entrance of the ER from the Helipad a Corpsman opened up the poncho he was wrapped in and got very angry. He stated he was dead and wanted to know why was he being brought in. I told him. He had us take him to the Morgue by taking him around by the Helipad rather than through the ER.
Once everything settled down in the ER and the wounded were processed the Corpsman (He was actually older than most of us.) came and got me and told me I was going with him to bodybag the two soldiers. I told him no. I had gotten a glimpse when the poncho was lifted up and knew I could not handle it. The Corpsman gave me an order and we went to the Morgue. When we got in the Morgue he gave me a pair of gloves to put on, the one and only time I wore rubber gloves. even though I came in contact with blood most every day. We prepared the bag and put it on a litter and then slowly began to cut off the jungle fatigues. I remember this young soldier being crushed from his neck to his pelvis and split open. The process was slow and one done with respect . something I believe was always done. Soon the clothing was removed and we moved him into the body bag. I will not go into any other detail due to how horrific it was based on his injuries. I still remember the very strong smell of old blood while preparing this soldier and this smell from many years ago also overwhelmed me as I was driving in to work.
I assisted with the other soldier and I believe the injury he had was a broken neck. The only real memory I have was having to remove this soldiers false teeth.
After all was said and done my E-6 showed up and ripped me a new one, one of the only times I remember being yelled at. He stated he had told me when I came on to duty that we would be getting in these casualties and I was to locate him and advise him they were on their way in and he'd be over. I believe this was at a time we were very short staffed due to an eye disease affecting a number of my fellow soldiers. I told him I don't remember him telling me this and I did the best I could. Noting was ever said about this again.
I will never forget these and the other young men that crossed my path. My biggest regret is that I do not remember their names. I want to find out more about them and to honor them whenever on the rare opportunity I get to to to the Moving Wall. Regardless, they are always in my mind and I think of them and pray for them and their families every day. You are not forgotten my brothers.
Not too long after showing up for my nightly duty the call came in regarding wounded from an APC that flipped. If I remember correctly, it was an explosion that flipped it. It got really crazy fast. I don't remember much about the wounded coming in an several choppers except for two soldiers. I remember that there was some communication about one of them either having died or on the brink of dying. I decided to bring him into the ER from the chopper since we didn't really know. As we got to the entrance of the ER from the Helipad a Corpsman opened up the poncho he was wrapped in and got very angry. He stated he was dead and wanted to know why was he being brought in. I told him. He had us take him to the Morgue by taking him around by the Helipad rather than through the ER.
Once everything settled down in the ER and the wounded were processed the Corpsman (He was actually older than most of us.) came and got me and told me I was going with him to bodybag the two soldiers. I told him no. I had gotten a glimpse when the poncho was lifted up and knew I could not handle it. The Corpsman gave me an order and we went to the Morgue. When we got in the Morgue he gave me a pair of gloves to put on, the one and only time I wore rubber gloves. even though I came in contact with blood most every day. We prepared the bag and put it on a litter and then slowly began to cut off the jungle fatigues. I remember this young soldier being crushed from his neck to his pelvis and split open. The process was slow and one done with respect . something I believe was always done. Soon the clothing was removed and we moved him into the body bag. I will not go into any other detail due to how horrific it was based on his injuries. I still remember the very strong smell of old blood while preparing this soldier and this smell from many years ago also overwhelmed me as I was driving in to work.
I assisted with the other soldier and I believe the injury he had was a broken neck. The only real memory I have was having to remove this soldiers false teeth.
After all was said and done my E-6 showed up and ripped me a new one, one of the only times I remember being yelled at. He stated he had told me when I came on to duty that we would be getting in these casualties and I was to locate him and advise him they were on their way in and he'd be over. I believe this was at a time we were very short staffed due to an eye disease affecting a number of my fellow soldiers. I told him I don't remember him telling me this and I did the best I could. Noting was ever said about this again.
I will never forget these and the other young men that crossed my path. My biggest regret is that I do not remember their names. I want to find out more about them and to honor them whenever on the rare opportunity I get to to to the Moving Wall. Regardless, they are always in my mind and I think of them and pray for them and their families every day. You are not forgotten my brothers.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
The Snake Bite
I was watching a program tonight and it centered around animal bites. It brought to mind one night at the 24th in Vietnam when the call came in. The Medivac was bringing in a soldier from the field with a snake bite. The chopper landed and we brought in the guy along with the dead snake. I remember the snake looking very odd, rather large and green and yellow. No one at the hospital knew what type of snake it was and the only thing they could do was admit this young man and watch for dangerous symptoms.
I know those of us on duty that night were really concerned. I can't imagine how he felt being bitten by a snake that no one knew what type it was nor could they really do anything. This young man survived but again, I cannot comprehend how he must have felt through the night, most likely thinking and expecting the worst.
This was the only instance of a snake bit I can remember and this night and soldier have never been forgotten by me.
I know those of us on duty that night were really concerned. I can't imagine how he felt being bitten by a snake that no one knew what type it was nor could they really do anything. This young man survived but again, I cannot comprehend how he must have felt through the night, most likely thinking and expecting the worst.
This was the only instance of a snake bit I can remember and this night and soldier have never been forgotten by me.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Don't Ask - Don't Tell
It is time to end Don't Ask, Don't Tell and let all men and women who want to serve our Country serve regardless of sexual orientation. Don't Ask, Don't Tell dominates the news right now as well as our politicians. We have so many more important things that need to addressed in our Country. Let's get working on them. Obama said he was going to end it so just do it, keep your promise.
Gay and Lesbians have served in the Military since the beginning of the Military and they served our Country well. Some died for our freedoms. No, we never really heard about their sexual orientation but now, some are coming forward and want to be recognized and accepted for who they are as well as continue to serve our Country.
There is a book from Vietnam called "Dispatches" and the writer (Michael Herr) states something as to being at a fire base and it is very quiet except for the two Marines making love in the sleeping bag )if my memory serves right). He didn't say screwing, fucking, queer Marines. He said "Making Love".
I served this Country in Vietnam and yes, I know a few men who "Made Love" to another man. I've thought about it for many times since returning. My conclusion is that it was just that, Making Love. Were they gay? I don't know - and it doesn't matter. What matters is that there were two individuals in a war zone far from home, living in a horrible situation. Yet they found friendship, warmth, kindness and tenderness for that brief moment.
Yesterday I asked a fellow Vietnam Veteran what he thought. He said he didn't care about it at all - the only thing he cared about was that whomever he fights with watches his back as he does theirs. Enough said.
And in closing I want to mention the recent suicides this Country is facing of young gay and lesbian women. The individuals are being bullied, taunted, chased, physically and mentally abused, etc. In the current situation they can't even look to the future as they have no protections at work and if they wanted to serve this Country - forget that. Try to put yourself in those young peoples shoes. Sexual Orientation should not be an issue nor should race, religion, etc. What really matters is the person and that he or she is respectful, treats others with respect and that those same courtesies are returned. We all need to take care of each other and do the right thing.
Gay and Lesbians have served in the Military since the beginning of the Military and they served our Country well. Some died for our freedoms. No, we never really heard about their sexual orientation but now, some are coming forward and want to be recognized and accepted for who they are as well as continue to serve our Country.
There is a book from Vietnam called "Dispatches" and the writer (Michael Herr) states something as to being at a fire base and it is very quiet except for the two Marines making love in the sleeping bag )if my memory serves right). He didn't say screwing, fucking, queer Marines. He said "Making Love".
I served this Country in Vietnam and yes, I know a few men who "Made Love" to another man. I've thought about it for many times since returning. My conclusion is that it was just that, Making Love. Were they gay? I don't know - and it doesn't matter. What matters is that there were two individuals in a war zone far from home, living in a horrible situation. Yet they found friendship, warmth, kindness and tenderness for that brief moment.
Yesterday I asked a fellow Vietnam Veteran what he thought. He said he didn't care about it at all - the only thing he cared about was that whomever he fights with watches his back as he does theirs. Enough said.
And in closing I want to mention the recent suicides this Country is facing of young gay and lesbian women. The individuals are being bullied, taunted, chased, physically and mentally abused, etc. In the current situation they can't even look to the future as they have no protections at work and if they wanted to serve this Country - forget that. Try to put yourself in those young peoples shoes. Sexual Orientation should not be an issue nor should race, religion, etc. What really matters is the person and that he or she is respectful, treats others with respect and that those same courtesies are returned. We all need to take care of each other and do the right thing.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Snyder vs Phelp
Tomorrow the Supreme Court hears oral arguments regarding the protests of Military Funerals by the Westboro Baptist Church members. That church seeks nothing but publicity be it at a funeral of a Serviceman or Woman, a Catholic School, etc. Now some may say it is freedom of speech but I do not agree. These Servicemen and Women fought for our freedoms. Without those sacrifices, this church would not have the freedoms they so abuse. No private citizen should have to face the harassment, anger, lies, humiliation, etc. that this so-called church spews out at the funerals. Don't we deserve the freedom to say goodbye and bury out dead? I pray the Supreme Court agrees and rules in favor of Mr. Snyder.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Urgent Urology Chopper Call
One night a call came in as all the others did:
"Queen Tonic this is Wide Minnow" After our acknowledgement we got the description the the wounded. All that was said as far a I can remember is that it was called in as an urgent urology case. The chopper landed a short time later and we got the wounded soldier off the chopper and into the ER. I remember him having this very pale/ashen look to his face and his groin area covered in bandages. From what I remember he was either a door gunner or crew chief on a chopper and was shot in the penis and testicles. He was in surgery within a short period of time. After surgery we got word (as we did most of the time regarding surgeries and patient status) that he had lost a testicle and the bullet sliced his penis. The doc said that they believed he would come out ok and be able to have kids. Everone was so glad to hear that.
I have always been so amazed and in awe of the wonderful and dedicated doctors, nurses, corpmen, medical staff, etc. at the 24th. They truly worked miracles and saved so many lives. And once all was said and done and things calmed down you could see the emotional toll each sitauation took on us and how much we all cared.
"Queen Tonic this is Wide Minnow" After our acknowledgement we got the description the the wounded. All that was said as far a I can remember is that it was called in as an urgent urology case. The chopper landed a short time later and we got the wounded soldier off the chopper and into the ER. I remember him having this very pale/ashen look to his face and his groin area covered in bandages. From what I remember he was either a door gunner or crew chief on a chopper and was shot in the penis and testicles. He was in surgery within a short period of time. After surgery we got word (as we did most of the time regarding surgeries and patient status) that he had lost a testicle and the bullet sliced his penis. The doc said that they believed he would come out ok and be able to have kids. Everone was so glad to hear that.
I have always been so amazed and in awe of the wonderful and dedicated doctors, nurses, corpmen, medical staff, etc. at the 24th. They truly worked miracles and saved so many lives. And once all was said and done and things calmed down you could see the emotional toll each sitauation took on us and how much we all cared.
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