I can't handle it tonight.

It was always and endless stream of wounded and dead GI's coming through the 24th. And there were times it became unbearable and you thought you could not handle any more. My Sergeant had one of those nights. We received just received a call from a chopper regarding a patient with multiple gun shot wounds to the face. My Sergeant told me he just could not handle it and said he'd get the guy off the chopper if I'd go into the ER and get the GI's information, get the wrist band on him, get his clothes, valuables and do whatever the ER may require me to do.

 I was in the A&D side of the ER as the litter was being brought in . All I remember seeing was this guy trying to sit up with no face and blood spraying everywhere. I followed the litter into ER. The worked feverishly to try to save this GI. It was horrific seeing this soldier with no face and fighting the Doc's and Corpsmen as they tried to work on him and got him into surgery. I believe one of the major issues was his attempting to breath.

It seemed like only minutes before he was in surgery. That is when we found out that he apparently attempted suicide and, if I remember correctly, he put an M-16 under his chin and pulled the trigger with a full clip in it. That night one of the surgeon's was a Major and she was fairly new in country. I think she may have had a plastic surgery background or was a plastic surgeon. I believe he was in surgery for many hours (I'm thinking 12.). The Major and staff were able to save his life and I was there when he was airlifted to Japan some weeks later. I remember being in the area between the ER and Pre-Op where patients waited to be airlifted by helicopter to the airbase to be flown out. I was with the Major who did the surgery who was now wearing a khaki's. I looked down at this GI and saw somewhat of a face and was so amazed at how well he looked compared to when he came in. It was from from a normal face but a face no less. I asked her about him and how he was doing. She said that he did not remember what happened but knew where he was. She said that his eyes were saved but that he would probably have double vision and that he had many, many more surgeries coming his way. Soon the chopper arrived and I and another GI took him out to the Huey and got him loaded for the trip to the airbase. I helped the Major get in the chopper and it was the only time I helped someone with a skirt on and it was really awkward trying to get her up into the chopper. I then left the helipad and watched as the chopper lifted off.

You know, I relive and remember so much of what I saw and did in Vietnam and my memories of my life outside of Vietnam is miniscule compared to Vietnam and being in the service. And this may sound strange but I'm afraid I'll forget those memories even though I know they burned in my memory. My only wish is that I'd like to be able to know how this young men's life turned out as well as the others who crossed my path. I know this is impossible but I often wonder about them. I can only say that hey are in my thoughts and prayers and that I have not forgotten them.