President Trump - Vietnam

I remember watching TV and seeing Donald Trump at one of his events and a Vietnam Veteran coming up and giving him his Purple Heart. His response was "I have always wanted one of these.". Well he has one, but it really isn't his. He could have had the opportunity to earn one of his own but instead had a number of deferments, including some medical deferments.  It is a sad time in our Country and History that a candidate / basic draft dodger (now President) would make a comment like that and take the Purple Heart. What should he have done? He should have opened up the Medal and pinned it on the Veteran and said "Thank you, but I'm giving this back to you. You earned it and deserve it. I want to thank you for your bravery and service to our Country.".

I know others will disagree but it could have been such a powerful moment, especially for the Veteran and those who served in Vietnam. A wonderful way to show his respect.

School Guest Speaker - Vietnam

I have had the opportunity to speak to a local high school classe approximately 5 times in the last two years. It really is just a conversation regarding my time and experience in Vietnam. I usually start out with growing up and what life was like. I then cover getting drafted and time in the U S Army including my service in Vietnam. I them cover my life after my Service and Vietnam and how I got to where I am today. I have found the High School Students to be a great group to speak to. I have always thought it was their time to ask questions and get an answer to that question. I have always wanted to be as honest as possible and for them to ask whatever they want knowing it would be taken seriously. They even have the option to speak to me after class, call me or E-mail questions to me.

One of the things I decided early on is that I wanted to be as hones as possible on whatever it is they want to know or ask. That is really opening myself up to any type of question. What I have done is to tell them honestly of my life growing up, a sexual abuse incident, an alcoholic father, a poor family, growing up where supporting the family was important, more important than education. That enables me to hit items that perhaps may be happening to them or part of their lives as well as the possibility that they have no resources to assist them. It also gives them a picture into who many drafter men were during Vietnam which was uneducated, from poor families, minorities, etc.

I was afraid hat being so honest is a risk, a possible embarrassment, and extremely emotional to open oneself up to young people who are also strangers. etc. What I have found is that it has been rewarding to me and has helped me a great deal. I have also found that the students seem to appreciate the openness and honesty and feel empowered to be a part of the dialog, questions, etc. and that they are important.

These students give me hope for our future.

Veterans Day 2016

Tomorrow is Veterans Day. It is hard for me to believe it has been 46 years since I entered and served in the U S Army for three years. It will also be 46 years since I was sent to Vietnam. To me, Veterans day is not just one day a year when we think of our Veterans, those who served and those who paid the ultimate sacrifice. I don't believe a day has went by in the last 46 years that I have not thought of those I served with and those who crossed my path while in the service. I especially remember the GI's in Vietnam that I took off the choppers and wheeled into the ER, getting their information, helping in the ER as best I could by cutting off fatigues and helping the Doc's, nurses and Corpsmen. I especially remember those who died and taking final care of them.. Those were the hardest and I can still see them. I wonder about what type of person they were or would be if there had been no war or if they had lived. I wonder about their families, their loss and how they fared. I wish they knew that there were those that I and others were with when they died and they did not die alone. There are so many things that just keep coming into my head and many times just overwhelm me.

As Veterans Day comes again I am so thankful that I had so many GI's who crossed my path and how they supported me and each other. I remember those who were wounded or died with great sorrow and prayers. And I think of their families and the sorrow and loss they experienced. So on this day and every one during the year my thoughts and prayers are with those who served and are serving their Country.

Barry Ward - Western Singer

In August I attended the Nebraska Vietnam Veterans Reunion. This was the second one I attended and did so alone as I did the first one. (This is a story for another time.) That first night was opening ceremonies and a BBQ. I met a nice husband and wife from North Platte and sat with them and others for dinner and the ceremony. The opening ceremony included a Western Singer - Barry Ward. If I remember correctly, he stated he received his draft notice in 1972 and the powers that be told him to just stay in school and that the war was ending, etc. Mr Ward sang two songs, "The Brave and Free" and "Welcome Home". I was pretty much in a tail spin just from just being there and hearing the National Anthem. Hearing the "Brave and the Free" brought back so many memories and I fought to hold back the emotions I was feeling. Then he sang "Welcome Home". Right off, just from the the guitar cords he started to play I knew it was a Huey coming in for a landing. In my mind I could see it swooping down landing on the helipad and running to get the wounded off. Then came the song "Welcome Home". That song intensified the memories I had and those memories of coming home. At the end of the song the guitar cords were that of a Huey and again, in my mind, I could see it taking off and flying away as the sounds of the blades faded into the distance. I was overwhelmed. I got up and tried to keep my distance from others. Tried to hide my emotions. Five minutes or so passed by and I saw people going up to shake his hand and speak with him. I went up and kept a distance until no one was near him. I went up to him grabbed his hand to shake it while at the same time pulling him close and whispering in his ear. Barely able to speak, I whispered "Thank you for the songs, I was drafted and I was the on who took them off the choppers". I then let go of his hand unable to speak or say anything else. Trying to hold back the tears I again moved away from everyone. Before I left I did order a copy of his CD which came with the video of "Welcome Home" which was just being released. When I saw the video of "Welcome Home" I saw that the beginning had incoming Huey's and the end had outgoing Huey's. I guess I felt relieved that those guitar cords were of a Huey and Huey sounds are part of my, my memory and a sound I'll never forget. I so appreciate those songs from Mr. Ward. In listening to him talk of soldiers and listening to those songs, it is clear he has respect for those of us who has served and especially those who served in Vietnam.

Captain Khan

By now most people have probably heard of Captain Kahn, the American Soldier who died in Iraq saving other Americans. Captain Kahn was was also Muslim. His mother and father spoke at the Democratic Convention. What I find terribly sad is that the Republican nominee came out and talked about how he made sacrifices and worked very hard. What? How would that compare to losing one's son or daughter in war? And are his sons in the service? No, but they can use rifles and were anxious to post pictures of them by a dead elephant while holding their rifle, having their big ammo belts on and holding the cutoff tail of the elephant they killed. Wow, what a sacrifice they have made to this Country. My thoughts and prayers oes our to the Khan family who lost their son fighting for this great Country of ours.

Student Notes

I said I'd share some notes from the high school students wrote to me from my high school presentation and here are a few:

1. I really enjoyed reading the letters you sent home to our mom and family. my grandpa fought in Vietnam, but doesn't talk about it much. So, I am very thankful for you sharing your story with us.
2. Your presentation truly touched my heart and changed the way I look at war and soldiers. I have so much respect for you and am so grateful you are willing to share you stories with young people. Thank you so much.
3. Thank you for coming, of course. I imagine it's hard to talk about war and your experiences in it. Hopefully, I can be as brave as you were at 19 and serve my Country by helping others every day. If it comes to armed service then so be it. Then again, I figured that the whole point of fighting a war is ensuring it never happens again. Either way, I admire the courage. Once I heard you talk it dawned on me that everyone, even Vietnam Vets (who I considered grizzled and bitter) were people. Just people! I imagine that. To wrap this up, I'd like to offered a quote. You don't have courage. you borrow it and give it to the next guy. That's the bottom line, thanks again.
4. Thank you for taking the time to visit our class and share your experiences with us. It was fascinating to hear about the Evac Hospital. With such a focus on combat when talking about war, people often forget the fact that other roles are present that need to be filled. I know that sharing some of the more graphic experiences can be difficult but, I am glad you shared these with us. Hopefully, my fellow classmates got as much out of your visit as I did. Thank you.
5. I first want to thank you for your service in the U S Military. Also, I'd like to thank you for coming and talking to our class. It was cool being able to have someone who experienced what we've been learning first hand. I really enjoyed you coming to our class and found it very interesting. Thank you for coming to our class and teaching us about your experiences in the Armed Forces. It was incredibly interesting, captivating and moving. I will always remember the stories you told and your bravery. Thank you for your service.
6. Thank you for coming in and telling our class about your experience in Vietnam. You did a great job and I was really into it! Keeping doing what you what you do! One more time, thank you.
7. Thanks Mic for coming to our classroom and sharing some experiences from getting drafted or telling us about some crazy stories helping in the hospital. Thanks for coming and speaking to my class. you had some rally funny stories. You also had some very real stories to open up my eyes to what the Vietnam War was actually like.
8. Thank you for taking time out of your day to come share your experiences from Vietnam. It was Dope.
9. I really enjoyed listening to your stories and looking at your pictures, documents, and letters. It was an honor to meet you and to hear your story/experience in Vietnam. Thank you for your service and time!
10. Thanks Mic. Your stories were great. I really enjoyed hearing you talk about your experiences. Thank you for coming and speaking to my class about your experiences in Vietnam. I really appreciated the things you brought in to show us and especially all of the stories you shared with my class and I. I also wanted to thank you for your service in Vietnam to help protect our country. Lastly I just wanted to say thank you one last time for taking time our of your day to meet with us and to teach us more about Vietnam.
11. Thank you so much for coming to RHS talking about experience in Vietnam. I really liked how you answered questions we had as a class. Also, you went into deep detail about almost efery aspect of the war from being drafted to coming back home. You're a very brave man and I thank you so much for our service in Vietnam and sharing it with our class.
12. Thank you for coming to my class and sharing your story. I've never rally met or heard a story from someone who actually experienced it. It was really cool to hear it from your point of view. God bless you for serving and being able to share it with us.

Just a few random notes of the many I received and I may post others later. They were a great group of students and truly respectful and I was honored that they asked me to speak to their class.

Fathers Day

Today is Fathers Day and many, many fathers will be honored by their children and families. And there will be those fathers who will have an extremely sad day remembering their sons who were murdered in Orlando last week, killed by violence, died due to illness or in war whose Fathers Day will never been the same again. And then we have children who have lost their fathers. We must cherish our families all the time we can with those we love as no one knows how long they will be with us. I never really thought about being or wanting to be a father. Its not that I didnt' like kids, I just didn't have that desire to be a father. In Vietnam we had many kids come in who needed some type of treatment, were wounded, I sorta helped babysit them when their parent(s) were in ER or OR. Before I got out of the service I worked in a program with children with learning and physical disabilities and did the same in a job for about a year after Vietnam. I just jumped in with both feet wanting to make a difference. Now I have had my own family for over 35 Years and seem to have failed greatly. None of these children are mine as I was too afraid of being in contact with Agent Orange. When I met my wife she had a young daughter making me a stepfather and we, actually too soon after marriage, became foster parents. We ended up a three month girl who was considered non-adoptable and when it looked like she whould be going home at three years old we adopted a 3 month old boy from Korea. The young girl ended being adopted by us at around three years old due to her parents rights being terminated so we actually ended up with three children. Things ended up being difficult and I wish we had done things differently or in a different order but I guess a lot of parents feel that way. My adopted daughter had a dad and she did see him even though he lived in a different state as well as her grandparents. Being a stepfather can work out good or bad. In my case it ultimately ended up bad. As a stepfather you really are an outsider with no legal rights, well except for me I paid for all her medical, braces, school trips as well as partial costs to fly to see her father or grandparents, and just about everything else. Sad, but never a thank you from anyone. Also, there was a lot of conflict between my wife and I on this. And we have not seen her or the granddaughter for over 13 years nor never saw the second granddaughter due to a conflicts, especially one started by her mother-in-law and her failure to address a stupid issue with her son telling my wife to address it with her daughter instead. Lot's of apologies on our side but that didn't seem to matter. About the last message I had from her was to never talk to her father again. Funny how a child can blame their child for all the ills of their life and never look back and see that it was a two way street and take some responsibility especially as they became older, married, etc. where needed. My adopted daughter has disabilities and took a great of our time and enery from the very start along with some of the other children. I'm sure my step daughter was hurt and harmed by some of this for which I am sorry. Again, being just married and taking on so much was not the best decisions we made and it remains quite a struggle even today. My son is handsome and athletic who loved baseball and sports. He never seem to mind it that I didn't know much about sports, and always told me what was going on, the rules, etc. He played sports in school and was great at it. I also called him a typical Asian, very quiet and touchy/caring. I thought I was always there for him, stood up for him and loved him like no other but I know question that and would love to have him sit down with me and just talk and share his feelings. He has a girlfirend and I know a son usually gravitates to the girlfriends/wife family. However, that girlfriend/spouse also needs to acknowledge that there are two families involved, not just one. My dad and I didnt' really get along. I was the oldest of five and the second oldest. I remember him calling me names like the big queer and I never felt I stood up to his expectations. I was different and I think that really bothered him as I may not have filled the mold. I wouild tell people I was the son no one would ever want and really felt I was adopted. As I got older I realized it just wasn't him and that I did contribute to issues. I also realized how my mom played me against in and I was many times stuck in the middle between them and when he left many times put into the dad roll. I was so glad to be with him in hospice at this home and help take care of him. The first time I had to change him I told him not to worry. He took care of me when I was young and did his very best and now it was my turn to take care of him. I'd chat about anything and just do what I needed to do from then on. He pretty much lost his ability to speak but I when I was with him I told him I loved him and at night I'd tuck him in and say "I love you." and he said "I love you too Mickey." And then at night he call out for me "Mickey, Mickey" even when my borthers were there and I felt so close to him and thankful for the wonderful closure we had. Now, I am raising a 9 year old grandson with learning and physical disabilities in our home and am his legal guardian. He is a wonderful little boy and I love him to death. You know, I made the mistake of giving my kids everything I didnt' have, i.e., trips, cars, paid their car insurance, doing whatever I could for them no matter what. Now I realize I didnt' give them the chance to learn for them selves, pay for their own cars, insurance, etc. etc. I've been told by them I didn't show them how to do things, etc. Gosh, I had to work to help support a family, bought rusted out and beatup cars for transportation, worked all the time, etc. No one told me what to do, I knew what I had to do. But I do see their point and I also realize my mistakes but cannot take full responsibility for all their failures. Gosh, my retirement would be so much better if my daughters father stepped up to the plate for his daughter and if I had not bought cars, insurance, etc. for them and pushed them some when growning up, etc. So, to my children I offer my apologies for my failures this day as a father but ask you to look to your failures as my children. Afterall, it does go both ways. No matter what I will always love you. Dad