Today on on either Fox or CNN was a story of Iraq veterans going back as civilians for closure. In this article, they referred to Vietnam Veterans and how that need was expressed or learned through them the need for that closure. However, for those going back to Nam this has been much later than what is happening with Iraq veterans.
I often go back to Vietnam in my dreams at night. The dreams are usually horror filled or extremely calming and welcoming.
In those welcoming dreams, I am back at the 24th Evac and nothing has changed other than there is no more war. All of the hospital staff are there and we all look and act the same. And we are so very happy to be together again. I know and remember every detail on the hootch's, the hospital, staff and perimeter of the hospital. It is sheer joy for all of us and to be around those familiar surroundings and each other. I don't' think I have ever experienced such joy
Unfortunately the dreams are short and as I awake from either the Horror or Welcoming dream I find myself so confused. Many times I believe it was real and I struggle to wake and figure out just what happened and where I am. And I can't believe it was a dream. How can something so vivid and alive be a dream.
A couple years ago I found out the 24th had a website and there had been a reunion in Washington, D.C. I searched out and was able to find a former 24th GI who served there several years before me. He sent me a book that had been put together for the reunion. I was devastated when I read that soon after the pullout of troops, the 24th was stripped by vandalism and that Long Binh was basically plowed under except for one building. It felt as if someone ripped my heart out.
My dreams of going back to see the 24th and Long Binh are forever gone but not in my mind and dreams. Those will never leave me nor would I want them to. I had always silently hoped of returning there and taking my son with me to tour the country for a couple weeks. My son was adopted from Korea and we have talked about going there together and stopping in Korea. How wonderful that would be to share that with him especially knowing he is one of the few people who have shown me respect for the little I've spoken with him about.
So, It's late and I'm off to bed after a very sad day or two due to comments made about my serving in Vietnam and the lack of respect I felt. I know in my heart I will once again be back in Nam tonight. It's so odd that one would want to be there rather than at home, but to me that was home and nothing can every make me feel otherwise.
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1 comment:
Don't despair my S.O.B. brother. The ignorant, arm chair cowboys and shallow will never understand...don't give them the power to bring you down. Hold your head up and be PROUD! Most of us respect and honor our vet's. You were in my prayers every single night, especially when you were in NAM.
We all have angels.
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