Don't Ask - Don't Tell

In last Sunday's Parade Magazine in the newspaper there was a question on the status of the "Don't ask, Don't Tell" policy change. It quoted a Senator who stated something to the effect that he was brought up Catholic, was an Alter Boy and Straight but was for the change in policy as we needed more to serve in the war.

I believe it goes further than that and his remark should not be why we must allow gays in the Military. One's sexual makeup as being straight or gay does not determine the quality of the person or their abilities. I know many straight men who would do awful as a soldier and would tell you so. I also no many gay men who would make a great soldier and there are a large number of them serving today. I also had the honor of knowing some of them. And take a look at some of the officers who were discharged recently and huge support from there fellow service men but then again they were gay so they were apparently incompetent and unacceptable.

What are the determining factors that a person is solid and capable person? Why does being gay mean you are not capable to serve your Country. I served for over two three years and never once did that issue really become a factor as far as I was aware only only once did I hear a fellow soldier say it in a negative way towards another soldier. And this was in 1970-1973. Did I serve with gay men, along with married men, divorced men, men who got their girlfriend pregnant and need that job in their service for benefits an support of his new family, etc.? Yes. As in public life there are many, many types of people. I believe that I and most everyone else, do not have the right to judge and determine who is good and who is bad.

I myself believe those who commit crimes especially murder, rape, theft, abductions, taking advantage of minors, etc. are not good people and their are laws that have been broken and those people must be held accountable for their actions.

Who are we to say that two people who are attracted to someone of their own sex is unsuitable, bad, deranged, etc. When in the service, especially in a war zone one wants his fellow soldier to be qualified, watch his back, dependable and on and on.

When one is in the service, especially in a war zone that seems a zillion miles from home his fellow soldiers are his family. You depend on them. You eat together, shower together, go to church together, fight together, drink and party together, comfort each other, share your inner most thoughts and upbringing with. You will share a bond that those who never served will ever understand or know.

I believe that when in a foreign land and fighting a war for a people who have a different language, religion, history, etc. it brings even more loneliness, isolation and frustration. Many of those who served have made their best and most memorable friend they will have have in this situation and many times will never see again once they get back to the World. And for many of those soldiers that friendship will become more of a physical, hugging, horsing around friendship. At some time it may become a sexual relationship. They will reach out to comfort each other and to feel another warm body against theirs. Someone who will understand them, where they came from and how they feel.

Will this become a sexual romp just to get off? Probably not. It will be just two soldiers, two friends, two lonely and caring men who have formed a bond only other's in their same situation would understand. Is one or the other or both gay, bisexual or straight? Perhaps. But what I believe they are are just two men serving their country who in the midst of all the madness, death and destruction around them formed this incredible bond and at this moment in time share that bond and love for each other. They know they may not make it through this tough fight and may not see each other again after this is over but for that brief time know that tenderness, compassion, the warmth of another body and love exists.

Regardless if these soldiers just share that horseplay, headlocks, and just spending as much time together or take that it to the next level, Love is Love and I believe in this case more pure than most.
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After posting this I came across a website about soldiers who served in WWII, Vietnam who have died. One headstone carries the message:

"When I was in the military they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one."